Out of the loop and then in...

We were so relieved that 3rd grade was going to pass us by without us knowing what - if anything - was going on. No notes home daily, no signs of anything to be worried about until... we went to Open House last night and were asked to schedule a Parent/Teacher conference because F has to be "redirected" a lot. (We were - of course - the only parents this was asked of...) It's grown really tiresome. But, it is what it is... We get to sit through another meeting with another teacher where we're told he's "bouncy, energetic, talkative, inattentive, doesn't understand consequences, can't sit still, bothers his classmates, talks out, acts without thinking, etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. But he's really smart." I don't know how many more creative ways I can come up with to say, "Yeah. WE KNOW." Sigh... And frankly, I don't know how many more creative ways I can come up with to say to F, "GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER."

So last night was spent dragging out the arsenal of checklist, rules, lectures, pleas for him to confide in us (Is there anything we can do to help you? Is there something you need? Tell us how we can help you!), and guilt (How do you think this makes US feel?). ADHD just isn't for sissies. I'd have never believed until I had a child with it how insipid and tireless it really is. I'd have been the parent going, "Why can't they control their child?!" What about if the child is really well-meaning but persistently disabled?! And what about the weird guilt from making him accountable when you're not sure he should be... why isn't he trying? Is he trying? Why are things getting worse as he gets older not better?

There really aren't words. It makes me want to hang my head and cry.